Just finish yumcha with Kar Wei at Asoka. It has been a few months back since the last time I catch up with him.
Kar Wei's like my elder brother. I knew him since secondary 1 when we were back then super active in SJAM. Up to date, we remain close friends and our relationship's like brother and sister.
Whenever I hang out with him, I'll feel as though I'm talking to my brother. I can share with him all my problems in life, family and work. He'll then talk sense to me. Make me realise that life ain't easy and if you want a good life, you'll need to work for it. There are many people out there who suffers more than I do. Which I have to agree with him. I must say, he's a very good listener and I appreciate him as who he is.
Today, I'm on leave. I foresee that I'll be death tired after a long weekend full of entertainment and socialising. I must say, I live quite a good life. At least I think I'm at the moment. I have a good hubby who cares and loves me much, I have a decent place to stay, I have my close friends, I have my own car, I have my own time-out and my own small activities. I must say, my life's quite fulfilled. But having said all that, I'm still not content. Perhaps, it's the life-style that I'm looking at. I'm hoping for more to come actually. Although time pass quickly as I'm catching up at middle 20s, I feel that I'd very little achievement. I want to do my Master. I want to earn better living. I want to drive bigger car. All these are the things that I'm hoping for before I reach 30s.
Well, I told Kar Wei about all these. And he replied, who will not want to dream of all that?Which I answered, yeah..no one will say that they are content with what they're having. Why do God created us in such a way? Hahaha. Greedy + Demanding. Sigh.
Anyway, talked to Kar Wei about my mom too. Told him all the small small stories and incidents that I encountered with mom. Told him how all these small small incidents that is building up inside me that make me feel so tensed about my life + my mom. I wonder anyone else felt the same way as I do. Sometimes, I feel that if I can demand further, I would like to have an understanding mom. Seriously. But when I start to think and reflect my responds to mom sometimes, I'll felt that yeah, maybe the problem is with me. Sigh, I kinda think that I'm really weird. I'm so confused. I hope Kar Wei's right. Maybe things will be better if I try not to reveal so much to mom. Maybe things will be better when I'm married and not staying with mom. But currently, I must appreciate things that she do for me. Cause I know, whatever happens to me outside, when I'm back home, I've got her to shower me with unconditional love and care. Although most of the time, she nags at me but I know, it's for my good...and I know I do love her, eventhough our gap is withering away...
